In the coming 45 minute period we all spoke. Shared our grief. Shared our concerns. Shared our own brush with this kind of violence in our school.
Once we all said our peace, our band director outlined his plan for safety and what he would do should this same tragedy happened in our school.
That was April 21, 1999. I was a senior in high school. It was the day after the Columbine school shooting. That was 13 years ago, and if you asked my 18 year old self then that we would still be having this conversation, I would tell you no way, let alone with a daughter of my own.
So 13 years later I am rushing out the door. My destination was Kent, Ohio where I was invited by a fellow fire photographer to cover a live fire training at an apartment complex marked for demolition. The night before, I asked Audrey if she would like to go. I gave her the timeline and she politely told me she would like to stay home. A 7:30am departure time is early for a kid who likes to sleep in on weekends.
I was just pulling off my street when I got a text saying she would like to go. Had it been any other day I would have kept going, calling her and telling her that she cannot decide once I left to change her mind. She would have to live with her decision and maybe next time she will get up and go. But it wasn't any other day.
I told her she had 5 minutes. I turned around and headed back to the house to pick her up. I was already 10 minutes behind, I am just going to get further behind, but it was important to have my daughter with me today. Thirteen years ago I needed a distraction. I needed something to focus on that was not the news. What better distraction would be to witness an apartment building burn?
Sharing your passions with your children is important. Telling them you really like something and showing them how much you like it is quite another. My dad used to be into martial arts. He found it to be an outlet once he left the military and special forces after Vietnam. He used to be in great shape. When I was growing up I heard all about how much he loved it, but he never showed us. He showed us pictures. He told us stories. Never once did she show us in the flesh how he could break a brick with his hand.
My goal in life was to always be the dad to my daughters that I never had. The guy who was at every thing I could possibly be in. Make it to more things than I missed. Volleyball games, gymnastics recitals, practices, school activities, and being there for her when she needed me. So taking her to a photo shoot that the main subject was smoke, fire, and firemen seemed like a good opportunity to show her how much I loved taking photos of them, and teach her a few things about fire safety.
Up until this point she had never seen anything but a campfire. So seeing a large building catch on fire would be a spectacle. Training burns aren't quick, they are exciting at times, but most of times you are looking at smoke, firemen milling around, and it is usually punctuated with fire.
Between shots I was showing Audrey how I set up shots. How I approached safety. I got over 840 shots from the 4 hours we were there, and in the end, the one I love the most is of her, over looking the fire ground wearing a bunker jacket. If you could see the front, her eyes were wide, jaw on the floor, and it appeared she was enjoying every single moment.
I was proud of her that day. Not because she came, but because she was getting cold, feet were hurting, and smoke was starting to make her second guess her decision to come, but she never complained, always paid attention, and in the end, gave me a huge hug and said thank you.
I am really the one that should be thanking her.
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