Retrospective

It's been one hell of a ride, and it feels great. This time last year, I was at an all-time low. Despite all the good that was happening all around me, I was in the darkest place I have ever been in my 32 years. A year later, oh how it all has changed, and for the better.

As everyone who has come within 100 yards of me knows, I started a new job this past April. It probably comes as no surprise it's a sales job, but I am selling something I use everyday; cars.

To say the journey into an industry that gets nothing but a bad wrap has been comfortable is a lie. It has been jarring at times. There is only one thing that identifies your weaknesses and that is a 100% commission job. My new career only depends on me. What someone sitting next to me is doing doesn't effect me one bit. My success and failure comes from one source. Me.

I have had great months and I have had months I cursed the Gods. Instead of cursing the Gods I needed to curse myself. "Look in the mirror" I told myself. November was a month I wish I could forget. Selling 4 cars was a terrible month. I didn't get paid. My ex-wife made more in the child support than I made wages that month. But I am working my ass off to bounce back.

I work for a great family, I work for a place I feel like I belong, I work in an industry I am excited about.

Motivation doesn't come from a manager, it has to come from within. I am right on the cusp of something big, but to get there I have to believe in myself. I have to trust the process. I have to struggle so when I "make it" what ever that means, I know how to appreciate it. I feel like I have struggled for every single year of my adult life, and maybe that struggle doesn't ever go away. Maybe it does.

Maybe I need to feel worthy of success.

This next year is going to rock. You all will have a front row seat. Wish me luck, because my success is a testament to your support through out these crazy years.

I thank you for everything.

And I wouldn't be a good salesman if I didn't mention; reach out to me should you or a friend need a new ride.

Updates

An artists rendering of some of my photos hanging in a dentists office in Arizona

I feel like I fell off a cliff. I get a full-time job and suddenly I'm lost in 12+ hour days at work, people calling for photo shoots, and kids (human and pup) demanding my attention; so naturally the one thing that captured so much of my attention, this blog, has gone unnoticed. Now that I am taking a day off from my normal 8-8 (yeah 9-5 my ass) I figured I would throw some updates up.

Obviously the picture on this post is a huge update. An interior designer reached out to me and asked if he can purchase some photos from me to print on canvas and hang in the lobby of a dentists office for a client of his in Arizona. After a month or so of emails back and forth, his client selected some photos and that was that. I feel very honored they chose my photos to hang in their lobby. I also think it is ironic considering my completely irrational fear of the dentist. So the photo here is a rendering of what it will look like.

Another big update is that I shot my first wedding. A good friend of mine back from my Verizon Wireless days was getting married. She reached out to me and asked if I could shoot her small intimate wedding. Nervous as hell, I took the job and off to a wedding I went. I shot over 8 GB of photos totaling close to 1200 photos in a matter of a few hours. I can't imagine a photog who shoots a wedding for 12 hours.

I got to shoot some family photos for very close friends. They were meant as a mother's day gift for my friend's mother. It was a great day and the family was troopers because some of them were in long pants and boots and they got in the lake for "the shot". We had so much fun and the photos look great. The sun was setting over head, the humidity cast this really cool pink and blue hues, and shooting directly into the sun was something new for me, but I think they looked great in the end. I have so much more editing to do. I took over 500 photos in 3 hours for these fine folks too.

Last but not least is the project I got to work on for RTA here in Cleveland. They wanted to document rush hour in Tower City. So I was in Tower City at 6am and saw the empty platforms transform into a crazy mad house of people all going to different parts of town and scattering all over downtown. It was a fun experience, but lighting conditions were tough but I think some of what I got were good. I got so much more to edit here as well.

Of course all these awesome projects came at the same time right on top of each other. When it rains it pours right? Hopefully these types of projects keep coming in. The best part of all of this is that I can do it while holding down my full-time gig selling cars, which as it turns out, I am pretty good at. Just need to step it up and get more customers in front of me. 2013 has been pretty good. The fortunes of this one time starving photographer have turned. I will keep pushing to get better at everything I do.

Thanks for all your support.

Reborn

I have always been inspired with people going for their dreams. This past year has been very tough for me, and it all seemed to change this week. All at once. 

After nearly 300+ applications, 7 job interviews, I am proud to announce I have landed a new job. For the sake of keeping this blog about my photography, I will spare you the details, but I will be selling cars, hopefully a lot of cars. So if you are in Cleveland, need a new ride, hit the contact tab at the top of the blog, I will fill you in on the details. 

Secondly, I got a call today that has me really stoked. Since being unceremoniously ripped from the job I had, I have been focused on taking my photography to the next level. I wanted to hopefully build it up to the point where if my unemployment benefits ran out, I had a way to make money until I could get a job. Well this focus has taken me on some sweet trips, awesome experiences, and more importantly made some awesome new friends. 

Well I submitted my work to an art show called RAW. RAW is a nationwide community of artists that are all wanting to make a break of some kind. They want to show their work and are having a hard time finding places that might want to open their doors to show their work. I totally dig people who are unknown and want to break out, so what better way to do that than getting together and highlighting each other. 

Well I am proud to say that I have been booked into the Cleveland show May 30, 2013. What does this mean? It means I have a space to showcase my work for the first time next to other artists. I have a chance to sell my work. I have a chance to make this cool hobby I have to start paying for itself. The only thing I need to do is sell 20 tickets. Totally doable. 

So here are the details. 

RAW: Cleveland

May 30th

The Avenue Taphouse 

18206 Detroit Ave

Lakewood, Ohio 

8pm-1am

Tickets: $15.00 

buy the tickets through my RAW profile to show you're supporting me and bam, come enjoy the show. 

There will be dancers, bands, photographers, painters, film makers, fashion artists, make-up artists, and more. I am stoked to see you there! 

Family

(L:R) Sherman, David, Elaine, and Newman

You never know what you'll run into when you do a photo shoot with a family, especially when the kids are two huge Great Danes named Newman and Sherman.

I was asked to take some photos of the family this past week and I was excited to do it, but very sad when I found out Newman's condition. He has been favoring his front paw when his Mom took him to the vet. The diagnosis was bone cancer. Newman was just placed on a clock. So when Elaine called and asked if I was available, I made sure I was. Newman and Sherman are two great dogs with a great family and I was very honored to be asked to document their family. 

With any group of dogs, you are always in for an adventure, especially after a rainy week, and especially when there are mud puddles around. I came home a lot dirtier than when I left and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Besides, if I had fallen in the mud, David was a fireman so I knew I would be saved while Elaine laughed at me. 

Thank you again Elaine and David for calling. Newman and Sherman were good dogs, or like you said, Newman is security and Sherman is PR. 

I posted more from this shoot here. 

The Township 5: Video

Olmsted Township Fire Department from dlayphoto on Vimeo.

I couldn't just sit around and watch this happen. I couldn't watch 5 guys get laid off because the powers that be were sacrificing safety for financial solvency. I couldn't watch 5 guys go through what I went through nearly a year ago and get fired, laid off, or whatever buzzword is happening to denote that you are no longer working where you work. It was a travesty in my eyes to just sit back and watch it happen, especially because some of these guys were some of the first firefighters I ever shot, while on-scene for a live fire training. I had to do something.

So when I called and asked to come out and get some photos, Olmsted Township Fire welcomed David Lay and I with open arms. Our mission was to show what would happen when 5 guys were no longer there to keep the fires out and get the sick to the hospital. I was shooting the stills, David was shooting the video. We wanted to show you the faces of the men leaving, because they are not just a number on a community's spread sheet, they are a person, with a family, and with a major mission to serve the community regardless of the politics involved with their employment.

Take a look at the video, share it, because this is a problem in not only the small community of Olmsted Township, but all over the United States. Awareness is what will save us. 

The Township 5

Drew Bacik, one of five firefighters losing their jobs effective April 1st.

Emergencies don't care about manpower at the fire station before they tear into your lives like a size 21 scalpel. Emergencies don't care that your Board of Trustees in your small township just cut 5 firefighters from your fire department in addition to the 2 vacancies that exist before they burn your house down at 2 in the morning while Miss Smith across down is in full cardiac arrest. Emergencies don't pick a good time to happen; they just do and when you find yourself as the main character in the horror movie of life, you expect someone to come help you when you pick up the phone and call 911. 

In Olmsted Township there's a very dangerous situation happening. The fire department is facing cuts as the Board of Trustees try and balance the books. If you ask the fire department you'll hear that the Board of Trustees are being unreasonable and are raging war on public safety. If you listen to the Board of Trustees you'll hear that this is just a cut to balance their budget and the fire department has forced them to do this because they will not make certain concessions. 

I'm not here to argue one side or the other, but just give you the facts. The only part of the Township that is facing cuts to balance the budget is the fire department and police department. Thankfully the police department and the board of trustees have been able to work something out to stave off their cuts to the end of the year, but the fire department hasn't been so lucky. 

The fire department has lost a chief and letters have gone out to 5 firefighters that they will also lose their jobs. But what does this mean? This means that for 10 sqaure miles, there could only be 3 guys on average at the station to help nearly 13,000 residents without a leader filling the white hat. As far as call volume, at an annual rate of 2200 calls a year, that is an average of 6 calls a day. So there is a very real possibility that the 3 guys covering the station will have to choose which call is most important to respond to; and who knows how fast another fire station from another community could respond, and if they are even available.  

This is a very potentially dangerous situation for not only the residents, but also the fire department. Hopefully 11th hour negotiations will be fruitful and are able to save these 5 firefighter's jobs, because if they don't, staffing levels will drop to a very dangerous level.  We all know emergencies don't care about staffing levels before they ruin your day.

Update 3/28/2013 8:30am: Olmsted Township Board of Trustees, last night, announced that they are rescinding the resolution for layoffs in the fire department. Trustee member Scott Ross read the statement before a large crowd of community members and area firefighters. The statement said, "Negotiations with the Firefighters Local 2845 have made progress and they are on the verge of an agreement."

Let's hope that this is the start of a healing process for the community of Olmsted Township and a pathway to bring Olmsted Township Fire Department to full staffing very very soon. 

Unexpected Value

image: Semantics are Important

I have been listening to more and more podcasts since I moved my AppleTV from the bedroom to the living room. The AppleTV just makes it easy to listen to podcasts while I do things around the house and most of the time when there is a  podcast I really like, I listen to it like families used to listen to radio during prime time.

Yesterday, little did I know, Gilgamesh Taggett, creator of Semantics are Important slipped in, at the end of his podcast, an unexpected plug about a short film I did for my wife. His words were very kind and I still can't get over that someone, outside my immediate circle of friends, took something from the whole thing, but what made it even more special was that it came at the end of an hour long talk on value.

After the weird day I had, it felt good to listen to a podcast that I could relate to and at the end, came with an endorsement for work that I've done.

Semantics are Important (Vulgar Ramblings of a Deranged Mind) uploads every Monday. Episodes average around an hour. It isn't for everyone, but I find that listening to him gets my brain working. Sometimes I agree with the stuff he says, sometimes I don't. I invite you and challenge you to listen to this week's episode on Value. You can find him on iTunes by searching for "Semantics are Important".

Sentenced

My first post on this blog was in reference to the shooting in Chardon a year ago accompanied by the above photo. It was a terrible scene in Chardon on the February day, but in the end something was inherently different about this school shooting from others. The shooter was captured, plead guilty, and convicted. Yesterday he was sentenced to three life sentences for killing Daniel Parmertor, Russel King Jr., and Demitrius Hewlin in cold blood.

The court room was a mess and the judge, according to an official statement, didn't see the shirt he was wearing or stop the lewd behavior which was meant to shock and disrespect the families of these boys who are now with huge holes in their hearts.

Little has been said about the kids who were killed other that they were young boys who died way too young. But if you ask people about who this killer was they can tell you over and over his life story. Where he came from, what kind of trouble his family was in, and what kind of monster this person was.

The scary part about this monster is that, like the Joker in Batman, some people just want to see the world burn. There is no rhyme or reason to what they do. They are just monsters and yet, we can't stop talking about them.

The bigger story that is often missed is that the three boys who passed away saved more lives than their killer took from this world. Through organ donation they were able to save others. It was a brave thing their families did and a decision not to be made lightly. But from 3 victims, 16 were saved with their life saving organs. Finding a silver lining in a tragedy is tough, but Daniel, Demitrius, and Russel did not die in vein and their legacy lives on, in the bodies of the ones they saved.

View from Engine 4

In Cleveland St. Patrick's Day is a party that would rival any city in terms of pure debauchery. It is a weird family party mixed with binge drinking and green everything. This all culminates into a large parade which last multiple hours through the heart of Downtown Cleveland. In other words, this is a bar's black Friday if I may be so bold. The way to clear out the coolers of old beer that was left over from the winter and what better way to mask the skunked flavor than to color it green?

Like many people I often relive this day in pictures the next day. Seeing what people saw and listening to stories from the day, often in a haze of a hangover. But rarely do I ever see a well thought about picture. Only recently did I start to follow some great photographers and they always put out great photos, but they are often from the sidelines. Very artful compositions, but always from the curb looking into the parade. 

So when I was invited on a ride with Engine 4 in the parade I jumped at the opportunity to bring sweet photos from inside the parade. I hung off the running boards of the rig, I stood on the roof, and even laid down on the bed, just to get interesting poses. 

The one I loved the most was hanging off the driver's side running board, holding onto a rail, leaning out to get a good shot of "BROWN" on the side of the rig and yet, capture the crowd all in the same shot. Some of them fell short, but some came out well. 

I am proud of this set.

Sale

I did a Fire Museum Flea Market a little bit ago, and I have some overstock I need to get sold, because like most of the free world, I have bills to pay.

So here is what you need to do. 

1. Go to my Flickr Set 

2. Select a photo you want

3. email acgercak [at] gmail [dot] com and/or tweet me the name of the photo

4. Payment to Paypal (use same email as above and include shipping address)

5. Sit back and wait for your print to come

Print Details:

All prints are 8x10 printed on matte photo paper and matted on 11x14 stock. All prints are signed and dated on the back using archive quality, acid free ink.

Prices: 

Matted: $20.00 (only 5 4 more left)

Print Only: $15.00 (only 9 left)

Shipping: $2.99

Really easy.

I am always down to sell anything to you, but these prints are all ready to go, no waiting, no messing around. 

Dear Jennifer

Funds were running short when I came up with the idea to give my wife something you couldn't buy in a store. Our story about how we reconnected and later got married and had kids was a brilliant story about how love, no matter what obstacles are thrown in front of it, will conquer all.

With memories fading, things getting lost, I figured it was a good time to get this story on the record, told by the people that were there. This is also a tale of how hard my wife works, and how her life has prepared her for her next big challenge. 

This culminated on Christmas Day when I played this short documentary for Jenn. 

Passions

Maui, HI on an all expenses paid trip courtesy of being a great banker

On a recent phone call with a friend something came up that I challenged. Like most creative folks, there is what they love to do, their passion, their creative work and there is what they do for money. A lot of creative folks have a way to make money, a 9 to 5 job, and they have what they align themselves with.

If you were to ask me what I did, I would say that I am a photographer. I am not the best photographer and to some calling myself a photographer is blasphemy because, gasp, I might on occasion take a photo in auto-mode. Oh the humanity. But I get the most creative satisfaction in taking my camera out and capturing what I capture. In reality, on paper, I am a banker. I have more combined experience as a banker than I do any other profession. I have worked in banking and finance for close to a decade. At one point I would have called myself a banker loudly and proudly, despite the fact that I also would occasionally get the photo gig.

I was a banker when I was hitting on all cylinders, making things happen, had creative freedom to go after the clients I thought had more potential and not because they were geographically close to where my office was. In 2010, my first year at my last bank, I was pounding it out. To some looking in from the sidelines, it would have appeared I took a relaxed approach to the job, that I didn't take it seriously, and early on (like the first week I was there) I had people who were subordinates call HR for various reasons. I was always relaxed because I was confident, I was making sales, and my revenue sheet was adding up, and complaints about me were superficial like the time I high-fived a customer who happened to be 85 years old. I wasn't the "banker" most people imagined and because of the age disparity I might have rubbed people the wrong way. Through all the growing pains of a new type of manager my assistant manager and I were making bonus dollars and were at the top of most rankings. I did all this without a direct supervisor, because a competitor scooped him up. I had no one up my butt telling me what to do or looking at minutia like papers in a binder designed to create busy work or force someone, who is not comfortable with that type of organization, to comply with what they [the boss] are comfortable with. I had creative freedom, I was making things happen, and most of all, I was happy. I was a banker and proud to say it. 

I was at the top, the Pinnacle you would say. I loved the rewards of going on an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii with my wife and coming home with $1100 more than when I left. 

That was the only time I would have said I was a banker. I was creatively satisfied because I was allowed to be creative in my approach to things. Then they finally hired a manager to manage us and the hammer came down. Everything I hated happened. A prescribed way of doing things. I wasn't happy and it showed. Some big companies have a way of turning their genuinely creative workforce in boring lifeless robots; but I digress. In the end I was told that I am no longer a banker, at least for this bank. 

But if you say that you are one thing, like a musician or a photographer or a film maker, and you have a job that you make money doing like banking or real estate or landscaping and you are the best at that, and you tell me you don't love what you are doing, I say bull crap. 

To be the best at something you have to love it. Whether or not you believe it, you love it. To be the best takes focus, it takes time, and why would you commit that much time to being the best if you hated the job? Money only satisfies so far.

For what ever reason creative people feel the need to lessen their passion for their paying gig in order to bolster their creative street cred. You can be a musician and the best insurance agent. You can be a photographer and an amazing banker. You can be one of the best artists and graphic designers in the world and still be one of the best all around utility-players at a restaurant. And yes, you can like both without losing your creative credibility. 

Say What?

From my most recent trip to NYC. Ladder 10 in the Engine 10 bay (if you saw how the street looked you would understand)

So this week has been interesting to say the least.

It really started Tuesday when I got a call back about a job I had been interviewing for. It was actually a job that I really really want. I mean it would have been life changing. I mean it would have afforded me the opportunity to not only get some job satisfaction but also work with some of the coolest, most cutting edge minds in Cleveland. The call back was not what I wanted to hear. I was the first runner-up. What does that mean? Ask Miss New York from Miss America 2012. I am sure she'll say it was an honor to be there and she came so far, but in reality she is probably going to go home and eat her feelings. Surprising what you find at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream.

So what did I do? I ate my feelings and all the while my mom kept telling me, there is something better, there is something better. It is hard to tell yourself that honestly as many times as I have. But her words seemed prophetic once again.

In my disappointment from my phone call I decided to write a treatment for a book idea I've had rattling around in my head for two years. I wrote out the idea, the whole thing, on a macro level. I mean on paper it is a great idea. I shot it off to a literary agent in the mythical land of New York City and low and behold, I got a response. It was a short three line response.

"Sweet idea. Make it happen. Call me when you're done."

What? Call me when you're done? What does that mean? So I did what any other unemployed, trying to make something happen guy would do. Figure out how to make it happen.

So I went to my wife and told her this big idea. Instead of laughing in my face and saying, "Dream on dude." she did something all the more intriguing. "So how do we do this?"

Say what? I was expecting her to talk me out of it honestly. Don't do it. Too risky. Too much time away from my family. You know all the things your wife is supposed to say. Well she didn't and as a matter of fact she said, "How much money is it going to take and where are we going to get it?"

A very valid question. But before we get ahead of ourselves I needed to shoot off some e-mails to some other folks who I would NEED to have on board in order to help me get this whole thing done. More of a logistical piece than anything, but also creatively they are wonder kids. So I shot off an email to them, expecting a 'don't do it' response. I got a much different email back, they were into it too and were able to show me a few barriers I would have never thought about. What's better; they have ideas on how to get through them, or at least they are going to try.

The wheels are in motion, even if it is just a little bit.

My mother said, there is something better. If this is it, sweet. If it isn't hell at least I had one hell of a week. Of course this could all change when I meet with the folks we are leasing our house from. Hopefully that is a good meeting. I am sure it will be, they are cool folks.

Event

Things have been going well recently. Still looking for a job, but I have interviewed 3 times with one place and I hope that pans out. I am excited about it, so I hope they call soon. 

But something exciting is happening this weekend. I have a booth at The Fire Museum's 29th Annual Firematic Flea Market. I will be selling some photos, matted and frame ready, or un-matted and you can do it yourself. I will also have a whole bunch of other fire stuff. I am helping a friend sell some fire magazines, light bars, bunker gear, toys, and hoods. I mean a ton of stuff. From what I hear this thing is huge every year. 

I know lots of you have reached out and wanted to get some prints, this would be a good time to do it. 

The Flea Market is this Saturday March 2, 2013. It is at the Cleveland Fire Department Fire Training Academy at 3101 Lakeside Ave, Cleveland, Ohio from 8am - 1pm. Admission is $3.00 and free for those 12 and under. 

Get excited, hope to see you there. 

Opening Weekend

Miss Greater Cleveland 2012, Meggie Wittman plays Laurey in MGP's 2013 production of Oklahoma!

When my wife goaded me into doing this year's latest show for Mighty Goliath Productions, I was hesitant. I am not known for my singing and dancing and all through high school and adulthood, I considered myself a pretty terrible singer and dancer. But nonetheless all my typical excuses for not doing the show were useless this year. I didn't have a job so I had some time on my hands in the evenings so I reluctantly agreed.

After a few weeks of rehearsals, I started to get into it. Once we moved onto the stage and started blocking scenes with actual set pieces and suddenly the show started to come to life, I really started to get into it. Besides being front and center in a tap dance piece, I am also up front for a lot of other numbers too.

I never realized how much I do actually enjoy being on stage. I haven't been on stage like this since my Sophomore year in High School. It is really energizing, and more importantly I had a lot of fun. No wonder why my wife has been doing this for close to 17 years and counting.

Throughout the process of doing this show, one thing driving me to get past my insecurity to get on stage was something more important. Mighty Goliath Productions is not a for-profit production company. It is a true volunteer organization all the way down to the director and production team. All profits go to the Avon Lake Performing Arts programs in the school system, giving them support in the world of failing levies and cut backs. To date the program has gifted over $200,000 to Avon Lake's schools.

Performing arts are culture. They expose you to a whole new level of experiences, and more importantly they force you to use your imagination. This is a cause that I believe in, and now that I have done a show in an organization my grandmother was a founding member of in 1959, well, it just seems right.

There are two more shows this weekend. Friday and Saturday 7:30pm at the Avon Lake High School Performing Arts Center. Head to mightygoliath.com for more information.

New York

New York City in enchanting. Standing outside on Ocean Ave, waiting for my brother to go turn the moving van around to park across from his building, I sat on a bench. I closed my eyes and I listened. You could hear the dull roar from the traffic, an impatient driver honking at the guy who didn't have a reaction time of a drag racer on the green light. In the distance you hear the sirens of a fire truck. The hustle and bustle of a city of millions, yet there I sat at on a bench, and the scene was uniquely serene.

When my brother, Keith, asked me to ride with him and help him move to Brooklyn, I jumped at the opportunity. Helping my brother and seeing a city that has inspired so many songs, books, and even lives is something you just can't pass up. Once passed through the Holland Tunnel and then over the Brooklyn Bridge, you feel the city breath life into you. The road that takes so much out of you, gives you so much back once you get into it. The bumper to bumper traffic is just a fact of life. No sense getting upset about being in it. Just hold your ground and you will be fine.

Standing at a subway platform waiting for the Q train, I paused. I was really here. What I was seeing was real. I was excited to be there at that moment, but what I was even more excited for was my brother's new adventure. Five years ago he left for Chicago to follow a dream of performing improv. Having graduated iO and Second City, he decided to move on to film school which was the original plan out of high school. The stars aligned and there he was, standing next to me on the subway platform.

I was glad to help. I am proud of him. Parts of me wish I could do the same, parts of me are over joyed to have the simple life that I have with my beautiful wife and kids in a place that doesn't include sitting in traffic for 30 minutes to go 7 miles.  Guess we will just have to visit him soon.

Jesus Wept

Panorama shot of Our Lady of Peace from my seat *click to enlarge*

It's hard to say that I had a good time at a funeral. But when I say I had a good time at Dani's funeral today, understand this is exactly how she would have wanted it.

This year was to be the "Year of Dani" as she often put it. She had a plan to get herself together physically, spiritually, and professionally. She dubbed this effort "Operation Daffodil". The daffodil symbolizes rebirth and new beginnings. This year Danielle wanted to begin anew and bring herself back to center. With Danielle's passing, it looks like her rebirth and new beginning has realized itself. She completed "Operation Daffodil" this past Sunday, nearly a week ago, when she slipped the bonds of this Earth and ascended into the choirs of Heaven.

"Operation Daffodil" Thank you to Mary Anne,
a long time friend of Danielle's for
giving me this daffodil

You may not believe in this vision of the afterlife, but Danielle did. During her funeral mass her faith was described in the Homily. She loved her church, her priests, and all that came with it. The exciting stuff like singing every Sunday, and the mundane, like organizing a parish raffle. As I looked up at the ceiling, feeling tears coming, I noticed a small detail. The lights directly above my head, hanging from the ceiling, was swaying. I looked at all the others and they were still, but the one above my head swayed gently the entire time.

After communion Jim Donovan took the pulpit to deliver a eulogy to end all eulogies. Jim described Danielle's life with all the passion and excitement as a Browns game on Sundays. At times his memories shed tears, and within minutes he had us all laughing as he recounted fond memory after fond memory. He gave us comfort. He gave us closure. Laughter is the best medicine, and even as we all laughed, we still had tears shrink wrapped on our eyes. At the end of the eulogy Jim offered a prediction. Danielle was the biggest Indians fan in all of Cleveland, and now that she is passed he predicted that the Indians will win the World Series this year, because now they have someone in Heaven that can effect their game.

As we left behind Danielle's casket flanked with co-workers, friends, and family I took a quick look back at that light above where I sat. It was motionless.

Danielle had left the building and Jesus wept.

Remembering a Friend

Danielle (purple shirt) giving a tour of WKYC to the PIO MOD Squad on Friday January 18, 2013

There are never enough good words to describe who or what Danielle was to all of us. She was full of life and energy. Devoted to her work, her friends, her family, and above all else God. She always spoke of her mother who had passed like she was just on a vacation. 

If you followed her on Twitter you found her enthusiasm for life infectious. She was always upbeat and positive despite reasons to be anything but. She meant so much to so many and we can all create entire Thesaurus' devoted to words that could describe her. The best way to remember someone is to tell stories. 

Danielle and I had a lot of fun this past summer. We both covered the "Hotter in Cleveland" full scale disaster drill. That's where we met. We had so much fun. We would ask the wet behind the ears intern that was with us these strange questions, and dammit if he didn't find answers to them. We had great fun. Later in the Summer we sailed on the USS DeWert to Detroit with another friend Erica Creech from the Department of Safety. That trip was amazing despite how it ended. We both had bags stolen from a car while we ate dinner, but in the end her optimism about the situation was amazing and kept me from falling into a depression about it. I was fortunate to attend a Tribe game with Danielle. If you want to see a true fan, Danielle is your girl. Where many of us have abandon the team like a condemned building, she pulled on her HAZMAT suit and hung in there. She was so excited about the pending 2013 season. 

Danielle (left) at "Hotter in Cleveland" 

Today when I learned she had passed, I learned a lot about Danielle. I learned she was my biggest cheerleader and fan. She liked my photography and she told a lot of folks about it. I have gotten direct messages all afternoon telling me that she said all these things about me. I had no idea. Danielle was the reason I was on TV this past week. She gave all she could to her friends. She really showed them she cared at all times. If you tweeted you were having a bad day, she was there trying to lift you up. I am forever grateful for all the words of encouragement she has given me. I continue to be inspired by her life and how many lives she touched. I am glad I could and can call her my friend.

This past Friday was the last time I saw and spoke with Danielle. She was giving a tour of Channel 3 to, what I would call, the PIO MOD Squad. Most folks would be a good host and get us drinks, but Danielle took it step further and got us dinner and snacks. She always went above and beyond for her friends and colleagues, you will hear this anytime someone talks about her.

I can't imagine the hurt and pain WKYC is feeling in their newsroom. All of Cleveland is mourning tonight. Danielle will be missed, but I know she is dancing with her mother now. 

Danielle you are loved. You are missed. It was a privilege to call you a friend. 

This is not good-bye. This is just see you later. 

BURN: The Review

It is hard to describe how I feel after seeing BURN. Really really hard. A part of me is pissed off. Pissed off that a city seems to be hanging out its public safety divisions out to dry. They aren't addressing the issues within the city. They are dangerously close to insolvency and instead of sharing the burden with everyone, they target the biggest line item on the budget, police and fire.

That is no way to run a city. That is no way to run a country. The federal government has balked at the idea of cutting defense, but in the city government they cut the defense first and ask questions later. We are not a third world country and having money to pay firemen is amazing, but the Detroit Fire Department fights more fire arson than any other city in America and yet they have the least amount of resources. A travesty in my eyes. 

There are other issues at work in Detroit causing this travesty besides the elected officials downtown. You have a declining population, high poverty rate, high unemployment rate, and Michigan hasn't come up with a way to attract all the manufacturing plants that have left Detroit to give 29% of their population jobs. So what you have left is a shell that has a rotten middle. It was said in the film, a gallon of gas is still cheaper than a movie ticket. 

Putting this whole situation in Detroit in context, Cleveland has done a fantastic job at reinventing what it is. LTV Steel could have been our Detroit moment. The moment large manufacturing started fleeing the city our medical community was expanding and started bringing jobs into Cleveland. Detroit didn't start to decline quickly. It has been a slow process. It will be a slow process to bring it all back. 

There is another part of me that is just bashing my head against the wall. You see all the time that FEMA is passing out grants for all sorts of things all over the country. Why isn't Detroit seeing any of this money? I think the reason is simple. No one in Detroit has applied for them. That is on the shoulders of the Fire Commissioner, plain and simple. I see suburban departments getting new apparatus all the time, partly because they have a good source of funding, partly because someone in the department has the ability to write a grant and get the free money out there for them.

Detroit isn't a lost cause, BURN shows us in the 90 minute run time. Detroit just needs leadership. They need a mayor willing to back them up. They need a commissioner to advocate to the city for them. They need people like Dan Gilbert buying up property in the city and re-purposing them (see also: Horseshoe Casino in Cleveland). They need to the will to want to change. 

BURN needs to be seen by every single elected official, every fire chief, and every firefighter across the nation. This movie needs to be seen by every citizen who pays their fire department for protection. They need to see how their money is being spent. They need to know it is being used in their best interest. 

Will this movie change minds? It could. It could also be written off as union propaganda, and the truth of the matter, it is the most true story about being a firefighter I have ever seen. Listening to firefighters talk about the movie over a beer afterwards there is one thing that was consistent, "The fires were cool, but once they started talking about the politics of the whole thing, the movie got real."

Fore more information about this movie, Detroit Fire Department, and how you could help go to Detroitfirefilm.org. 

Clarification

Did you see me on TV today?



Well I just wanted to make a few things a little clearer, as I have gotten a ton of questions today from all over the place.

1. I am not affiliated with BURN the movie. I am just a local artist who requested a screening in Cleveland. You want to go to DetroitFireFilm.org for more details about the movie and to get your tickets for tonight. I know they sold out their show Monday night, and tonight I am sure there will be another large showing. Was kind of bummed they only used the images from the film on the segment and not my images as they had 7 of them ready to go, but I had no control over that. Oh well.

2. Two Detroit firefighters will be at the screening tonight are Brendan Milewski and Dave Parnell. They lived it. Their stories are amazing and tell them thank-you for everything they do. I am happy they are still with us as many of their friends paid the ultimate sacrifice in their efforts to help the people of Detroit.

3. I give all my photography to the fire departments I photograph. My mission is to give them a record of what they do on a daily basis. Families like to see what their dad, mom, wife, husband, brother, or sister do on a daily basis. I am honored anytime they are used. Rarely do I get paid. No complaints, just the way it is.

4. I would love to see Cleveland get a fire photographer on the payroll and put us in the firehouses with the firefighters who protect the city. Whether that is me or not, there are a lot of talented fire photographers here in Cleveland, we could use a full-timer in the department showing you what it is really like.

 I was super happy to be on TV talking about something I am passionate about. Fire photography is a form of art that is both dangerous and rewarding. I love doing what I do, and I am energized that a feature length documentary about firefighters is here in town. Again, without firefighters and a fire department willing to open themselves up, and without a crew of photographers, engineers, and directors like Tom Putnam and Brenna Sanchez, BURN doesn't happen; it doesn't change minds, it doesn't show you what really goes on in a city with more arson that any other city in America.

Support Detroit and Support BURN.

Shot in the Dark

I hear the dryer going in the other room. Turns out when you are going to be on TV you need clean clothes. Who knew? So last night, BURN premiered in Cleveland to a sold out show ( I get to go tonight and see it and I'm jacked!). Today I go on live TV talking about the film and my fire photography and what it all means.

To say I am nervous about it is an understatement. I've done live TV before and even still I have those butterflies. TV Cameras, lights, and a host can turn the most articulate of people into babbling idiots. I have been trying to tell myself that that won't happen, but who knows, it's live TV. Part of me feels I need to do something that will make it go viral. Some suggestions from Facebook were to pick my nose, release a flatulent  or even set a fire on the desk and pull out my camera. All would do the trick at the expense of my credibility, but hell I like where their heads are.

In reality I just hoping to put some exposure on a film that should be distributed wide by Hollywood and isn't. Why? Who knows, but this film needs to be seen by everyone in the country. Detroit Fire Department is what happens when you cut and cut and cut and you have a growing number of abandon houses; and gas and matches cost less than a movie ticket.

Arson is a scary thing. It is scary for residents and terrifying for firefighter's families. Arsonists kill firemen. Period. If there was any Midwestern city that closely resembles Detroit it would be Cleveland. Detroit is rising like a phoenix from the ashed because of their firemen. Cleveland isn't on fire because of it's firemen. Detroit needs to be supported, despite that University up there.

If you are reading this after seeing me on TV; welcome, hope I didn't babble like an idiot. You can contact me right here by commenting, clicking on my contact tab and filling out the form, or tweet me. I put a lot of photos on Flickr so head over there if you want to see more stuff.

January has been my month so far. A photo of mine published in Cleveland Magazine, an appearance on TV talking about a genre of photography that is making a surge to mainstream, and hopefully it ends in a paying gig somewhere, somehow.

2013, thanks for showing up for me so far. Don't mess it up.

Burn

When I first saw the 9 minute trailer for a documentary called 'Burn' I was blown away. This was in the beginning stages of me falling down the fire photography rabbit hole. Burn showed a side of firefighting you cannot get from films like 'Backdraft' or 'Ladder 49' or even TV shows like 'Emergency!' or 'Chicago Fire'.

All those films and TV shows have their place in entertainment, they are all well done for what they are. But 'Burn' was something different. It wasn't a stylized replication of what firefighters go through on a daily basis in Detroit; it's actually what is happening. The footage in the film is almost a few years old at this point, but I think the film shines a spotlight on many aspects of firefighting that many of us don't even know about. 

We see firemen step off the rig in gear, grab tools, and go into fires. We never see what happens on the inside. In this 9 minute trailer, it shows you the heat, the disorientation, and the heartbreak that comes with a home burning to the ground. 

Finally this film is coming to Cleveland and I have my tickets purchased and ready to go. I can't wait to go there. I would love for you to join me in supporting this film and the brave members who see more fire in 24 hours than most firemen across the country might see in a year or even a career.

This movie also does great things in the way of supporting and creating space in city budgets for professional fire photographers. This film proves that the pictures and video we capture have a place in the discussion about firefighting. Without a group of dedicated filmmakers, photographers, and engineers putting cameras on helmets, this movie never happens.

You can buy tickets for January 14th or 15th, showing at Tower City. If you are a firefighter attending the show on the 15th with me bring your helmet and come 30 minutes early. I want to get some photos of Cleveland supporting Detroit Fire Department and the filmmakers and we can meet the some of the Detroit Firefighters that are featured in the film.  

Tickets are $20.00 online. This is not a typical price for a movie, but this is not a typical movie and it is being delivered in an atypical way. The directors and producers are raising money to put this DVD out by themselves. This is a daunting task with a high cost. 

For tickets go here. 

To donate go to detroitfirefilm.org

A New Year, A New Portfolio

Rocking a bow tie on New Year's Eve

Why does January 1st feel so refreshing?

2012 was a crappy year for many reasons all of which I have gone into depth here, but the last half of the year brought a ton of awesome to the lives of family. 

I cannot describe how supportive everyone has been. From an anonymous donor replacing a camera that was stolen to seemingly strangers coming into my life with nothing but love. These past few weeks have shown me the good in the people of Cleveland and frankly all over. 

Because of the kindness of a Twitter follower, I received a gift card for Shutterfly for the specific purpose of reprinting my lost portfolio. Their generous donation was big enough to not only reprint the 12 page book, but also add 43 additional pages. I was able to put together a comprehensive portfolio that was laid out the way it should have been from the start. It has over 100 photos ranging from the fire service to plants & animals. The cover is custom now, so just sitting it on a table is enough to start a conversation. 

It will be coming this week and I cannot wait for it to arrive. Follow the link below to get a preview. 2013 holds a lot of secrets and I am excited to find them. This year will be my year. Something will break loose. 

I am determined. 

I am focused. 

Check out the portfolio here.